if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
