he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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