I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize