Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
