I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
