DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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