Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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