I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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