My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
