I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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