she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm at about main and main street
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
