No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize