I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
