How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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