Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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