SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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