who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
