I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
