I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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