onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
