I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
