i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
