it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
