would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
