How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize