I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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