Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
