I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
