One girl and one boy is just not enough.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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