I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
