STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
