Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Boobs are out for the taking
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
