I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
