did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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