trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
