Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize