I can tuck mytits in my pants
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
