did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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