Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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