Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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