So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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