i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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