yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
