I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's no shave November. This is our time.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize