Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
