I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
