So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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