i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can I color on your dick again?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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