So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
All I want is dick and wine.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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