is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
