I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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