i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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