Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize