Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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