just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
