so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just want nice things and good sex
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
