Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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