On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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