I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
